Dear Ms Bréagadóir,
You stood there, looked me in the eye, showing concern, and that you cared. Surrounded, as we were, by hypocrites, I took your consideration at face value, because I had seen no involuntary withdrawal, nothing at all to indicate you were anything other than genuine.
In the following weeks, I discovered you were, in fact, being false, accumulating ammunition, and lying your scrawny freaking arse off!
I have no idea why you felt the need to lie. It would have been so much better if you had been honest, and told me you didn’t want to speak to me. So many people there that day wanted nothing to do with me, and I was okay with that. They made it very clear that I was so much less than pond scum, and it was their right to do so. Apparently, you also felt that way, so why pretend? Why stand there and tell lies? Why betray me and add more pain to the hurt I was already burdened with?
To say I am disappointed is a mighty understatement.
So, you don’t believe me? Who cares? Ninety-nine point nine percent of everyone who was around us in that moment don’t believe me either. My respect for them, however, is in tact. Why? Because they did not lie. They did not pretend to have any concern or consideration for me, or my feelings, at all. They were up-front and honest – they don’t like me, they don’t believe me, and most of them even hate me. So? They are entitled to their opinion.
You, however, stood right in front of me and expressed disgust at the actions being described to you. You blatantly lied about your knowledge, and that of others. You told me we should keep in touch. You hugged me. You expressed concern. You reminisced about the ‘good old days’ and things I had done for you, and that we had done together, in the past.
All the while, I now know, you were being fraudulent. Everyone, I have been told, knew everything there was to know about what was going on – from one person’s perspective, at least – and they had also spent many an hour discussing the situation and bad-mouthing me and those who support me. You, I now know, participated in those conversations, and many that have been had since that day. Your thoughts and feelings of the situation were in total opposition to mine, and yet you deliberately set out to make me think otherwise.
Did you find it funny? Was it ‘good value’ from a practical joke point of view? Did you get plenty of mileage from the ‘hilarity’ of deceiving me?
How lucky for you that you weren’t the one molested and raped. Imagine what it would have been like if you had been. Have you ever wondered, what if it is true? Have you ever considered what it might be like for someone to experience that?
Your mother asked me once if I would ever take any action. At the time of the conversation, I said I didn’t think so. I told her I believed he would have to account for his actions to someone other than me – my meaning was to God, or some other Higher Power.
Now I wonder how you will account for your actions. What will you say when it is time for you to atone for your life on earth? How will you excuse your duplicity? What reasons will you provide?
I wish you well when the time comes.