“I can’t believe you even need to ask that question.  In fact, that you’ve asked it shows just how much you don’t understand!  Let me tell you something, never knowing from one minute to the next whether you are the child, the cook, the cleaner, or the lover, tends to mess with your head.  Add to that, the absolute bewilderment of having someone literally knock the living daylights out of you, unexpectedly, and for a reason or reasons unknown, and you start to doubt your own sanity – even as a child.  And when you are constantly threatened with your own, or someone else’s, torturous death if you so much as make a peep about what was going on – and you know the person making the threats is well and truly capable of doing just that – well, you learn pretty quick to put up and shut up.  On top of all that, things like incest and child sexual abuse were not discussed in private, let alone in the media, thirty, forty, or fifty years ago.  There were no kids helplines, no public education that such things occurred, or that they were wrong.  Back then, kids didn’t have rights.  What did it matter if a mother beat her son in private, or a father had sex with his daughter?  What happened behind closed doors, stayed behind closed doors.  But think about the behaviour.  Think about the number of attempts to run away, the severe mood swings, the total lack of respect as a teenager, the drinking, the drugs… Oh, that’s right, you just assign those things to her being a bitch of a child.  Headstrong, inconsiderate, uncontrollable… those are the words I have heard you use before.  You, yourself, put pressure on her not to say anything, even though she was in her twenties then.  You never questioned then, that what she said was true, and you still did nothing to help.  All you were worried about was that she might bring the family into disrepute.  Well, you disgust me!  And you have absolutely no right to now ask why she had to speak out!”

2 responses to “Why?

  1. I have nominated you for the The Brave Heart Award. If you would like to accept it, please go to my blog site for details. You are an inspiration and thank you for your advice and support. TBH

    Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

    I call you a survivor, because that is what you are.
    There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong.

    I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse.

    In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope.

    You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

    Each step you take you are not alone.
    Stand Strong.

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